Audition Monologues

Mattress monologues below---For those auditioning Monday you don't have to memorize it. For Thursday you have to. 

This is the monologue for the girls. Queen Aggravain is the mother of Prince Dauntless. She claims she wants her son to get married, but spends every waking moment making sure he does not. This monologue takes place when the Queen first meets Princess Winnifred. Princess Winnifred swam the moat to reach the castle and meet the Prince. When she says “the vapours” she is referring to a mental illness.

Queen:  Do you mean to ask me to believe that you're a true Princess of the royal blood, and am I to actually understand that you have the nerve and the gall and the presumption to apply for my son's hand in marriage? Do you imagine for one moment that I would even consider you suitable for any son of mine? You are laboring under a very unfortunate misapprehension, my dear; my son isn't going to marry any moat swimmer; not while I have breath in my body. And I haven't been well, not well at all . . . I get these shooting pains all in through here. And don't try to tell me it's the vapours. I know what the vapours are l've had the vapours.

This monologue is for the boys. Yes, this is one of the roles we could cast as a girl, but for the purposes of this initial audition, this monologue will just be for the boys. The minstrel is the singer/narrator of the show. This monologue takes place at the top of the show after he has sung the traditional story of the Princess and the Pea.

Minstrel

There are many versions of this story; I sing them all. This is the prettiest, but it's not quite accurate. I happen to know the true story of "The Princess and the Pea" for the very good reason that I was there. It was a small kingdom ruled over by a talkative queen and a mute king. The Princess in the true story was not the only girl put to the test. Actually, she was one of 13 girls - girls who came to the castle hoping to wed the Prince, but who, for one reason or another were found to be unsuitable. As a matter of fact, the day I arrived at court, they were testing Princess Number 12. A curious quiz was in progress.